Like SBURB but with pink monkey people

[avianOrthodontist]

a.k.a. Homestuck but with us as characters

Name:
Gender:
Herotitle:
Land:
Guardian:
FOCKING STUFF THAT IS MISC:

[avianOrthodontist]

Name: Curran Gregory
Gender: Male
Herotitle: Painter of Fusion
Land: Land of Acrylic and Wires
Guardian: Mom
Fetch Modus: Browser
Dream Domain: Prospitian

[draconicAnthropologist]

Name: 'ach Perry
Gender:
Herotitle: Mage of Sparks
Fetchmodi: Hashmap (making things hard for myself is what I do) ((wait waht? what's this browser stuff?))
Dreamdomain: Prospit
Land: Land of Shade and Frost
Guardian: Dad
FOCKING STUFF THAT IS MISC: null();
(( think I finished maybe ill tweak it later ))

[grammaticalMisinterpreter]

Name: Ben Child
Gender: Male
Herotitle: Jester of Velocity
Land: Land of Force and Projectiles
Dreamdomain: Derse
Fetchmodi: Web search
Guardian: Older brother
FOCKING STUFF THAT IS MISC: SHIT
Chumhandle: humorousEntertainer
Color dark cyan

[draconicAnthropologist]

A bespectacled youth lies sleepily across his uncomfortable desk chair, before a desk cluttered with all manner of knick-knacks and trinkets. Papers are strewn about, filled with printouts and sketches.

You sit up, trying to recall what it was that was so important about today.
OH YEAH.
Today is your birthday! You're not planning anything too extravagant, but you guess you'll see if any of your buddies are around. Your internet buddies.
...'Extravagant' is a good word, you think to yourself.

[avianOrthodontist]

A magnanimous young boy surfs the web, checking for updates on his favorite website.
It is your friend Perry's birthday today, and his present has been mailed. Oh, look, Perry is online!
It looks like he woke up! At 5:00 PM!

[grammaticalMisinterpreter]

a comical fellow sits on a chair messing with his laptop, oh hey the perrymister is on, better tell the birthday bro stuff.

[draconicAnthropologist]

You tap the space bar a few times, and your computer starts back up. PHEW. It's been on the fritz lately.
A friendly sound alerts you to the fact that your instant messenger is running. Looks like Rurren and Ben are online!

-- draconicAnthropologist [DA] started jestering myraidIcthyologist [MI] at 5:01 PM --
DA: boing
MI: Oh, hi zach.
DA: hello! :0
MI: Happy birthday by the way.
DA: yay!
MI: I sent your present yesterday, has it arrived?
DA: i should go check!
DA: because
DA: i bet it is so cool i don't even know.
MI: YOU DONT EVEN KNOW MAN!
DA: I DON'T EVEN
DA: I DON'T KNOW.
MI: I DONT 2468 KNOW!
DA: :0...
DA: lol
MI: Okay, cya in a min.
DA: okay
DA: :p
-- draconicAnthropologist [DA] stopped jestering myraidIcthyologist [MI] at 5:13 PM --

[avianOrthodontist]

You leave the computer and walk downstairs with your LAPTOP.
You plug it in and thank god your mom is still at work.

[grammaticalMisinterpreter]

-- humorousEntertainer [HE] started pestering draconicAnthropologist [DA] at 5:18 PM --

HE: oh hi mister birthdaybro
DA: what's up broooo?!
HE: Nothun mawch mang
HE: you?
DA: rurren sent meh a package of some kind :0
HE: lol thats funny
DA: lol
HE: i think i sent one but
HE: like i was sleepin' like a mofo
HE: you know how it is bro
DA:
DA: i know how it is dog
HE: dude!
DA: BRO!
HE: are names combined are like HEDA
HE: crazy
DA: so crazy
HE: *bunp*
DA: *bunp*!
HE: anyways my lappy is like thigh scorching me mega time bro
DA: oh snap
HE: i know man
DA: oh no it dinnit
HE: for real... bro!
DA: you will have hardcore burn marks all over your thighs.
HE: like some kinda crazy ganster getting all "yeah lookit that man first gang war man"
DA: tell people you jumped out of an exploding zeppelin like the hardcore dude you are!
DA: WHOA DUDE
HE: Durring a GANG WAR
DA: TOO EXTREME
HE: shit man our stuff is too good we should write a book
DA: AWESOME OVERLOAD AND STUFF OH SNAP
DA: the book would be called
HE: call it "YOU CANT READ THIS”
DA: it's too cool for you
HE: cause you'd have to be as awesome as us too even look at it
DA: you can't HANDLE this book
HE: crazy
HE: anyways happy birthday bro man your like wut 2,000,000?
DA: dude totally
DA: i am like so old i am now young.
HE: crazy you like 14 up in here
HE: the big one four bro
DA: mad fourteen stuff all up in this
DA: true that bromie geeeeeeeee
HE: anyways i got stuff to do bro ppl to like awe and crap
DA: okay cool duuuude
HE: you know cause im so cool and all
DA: go strike some awe
DA: kay seeya maaaaaaan :0
HE: yeah
DA: PCHOO ROCKET BLASTING OFF FOR ADVENTURE

-- humorousEntertainer [HE] stopped pestering draconicAnthropologist [DA] at 5:29 PM --

[avianOrthodontist]

Your annoying brother runs into the room screaming you pick up a Pillow [P(I)LL(O)W] and then you pick up another [P(I)LL(O)W]. The pillow ejects from your modus and knock the little tyke across the kitchen.

[operaticSoprano]

OH MY GOSH I'M SOOO SORRY I HAD LAST MINUTE STUFF TO DO AND I HAD TO LEAVE EARLY AND I'M SOOO SORRY I'M ALWAYS LATE AREN'T I?!?!?!

Okay, enough of me freaking out. I'm tired and I had too much sugar. :/ And sorry if this isn't all that great...I don't do enough of these things...

Name: Jillian Ramos
Gender: Female
Herotitle: Maid of Light
Fetchmodi: Stack (Unoriginal, I know, I'm sorry)
Dreamdomain: Unknown for now
Land: Land of Hills and Sunbeams
Guardian: Granddad
FOCKING STUFF THAT IS MISC: Expect her trail of thought to derail, and for her to get a little distracted at the wrong time.

[draconicAnthropologist]

You decide now is a good time to go check the mail for sweet loot. Snagging your PHONE [8], you sprint out the door and leap down the two stairs separating the untidy room you keep all your cool stuff in and the garage.
Oh noooo.
It's your DAD again. He is waving a pipe at you like nobody's business. Dang that pipe, he is waving it so much. He is all primed to begin a fatherly spiel about life lessons and stuff. While normally you would be totally cool with that you have stuff to do and a busy schedule to keep.
You leap back up the stairs and pull the door shut behind you in a stunning acrobatic pirouette.
Only you don't do a pirouette because your arm can't rotate 360 degrees like that. Ow.
Guess you'd better prepare for some strife if you want to get at those packages and stuff!

[avianOrthodontist]

--myriadIcthyologist [MI] began jestering draconicAnthropologist [DA]--

MI: Hey.
MI: Is this a bad time?
MI: By the way
MI: Don't try to pirouette
MI: It will end badly
DA: THAT IS A FEW SECONDS TOO LATE MY FRIEND
DA: MY ARM OW

[operaticSoprano]

An unassuming young girl sits up in her bed, awake after a long night of chorus rehersals.

You yawn and rub the sleep out of your eyes, but eagerly climb out of bed. It's probably really late morning by now, and you're sure that your grandpa's going to have your head for sleeping in so late. It gets more and more irritating each time you have to explain that rehersals keep you up until 12:00am, so of course you're going to sleep in a bit.

And you're going on another tangent. You have a tendency to do that a lot. It's not the most organized way of thinking, but it is kind of fun.

Stop with the tangents already. The first thing you do is log onto your laptop. A few of your good friends are online - and hey! It's Zach's birthday today, isn't it? You have to greet him!

Of course, knowing "the guys", you know that sometimes they're away from their computers when you're bugging them, so you take out some embroidery that you've been working on and wait till one of them acknowledges you.

[grammaticalMisinterpreter]

you take your knee scorcher off, and get out of your chair. You're in a living room you notice the ROCKBAND GUITAR in the corner of the room. Sense no one in your house plays that much anymore you pick it up. a browser opens and at the back of your fetch modus, and you type in ROCKBAND GUITAR you click the first link it shows you, and you get a ghost image of a ROCKBAND GUITAR, it looks... similar so you pick it up, the image of the item covers the ghost image and parts of the Ghost image turn red and are stored in your MODUS TRASH. the bar fills to 2%, you also pick up the drum sticks, you go through the same process but the images match and no GHOST GARBAGE is expelled. alright back to the "Knee scorcher"

[avianOrthodontist]

You decide to allocate your strife specibus, you run into the garage nearby and [(A)ll(O)c(A)t(E)] your [B(O)W (A)nd (A)rr(O)ws] to your [Str(I)f(E) Sp(E)c(I)b]... [Str(I)f(E) Sp(E)c'b(U)s]. This is cool. Arrows are fun. You run back to the computer room, because you hear a car come up the driveway.

[draconicAnthropologist]

Your lack of strife experience despite having lived all your life as the ELDEST of THREE BROTHERS is something you don't fully cognize as an oddity. You decide to run off to your ROOM where you keep most of your stuff. First, you decide it's worth grabbing your MUDKIP = [10] a friend of yours gave you about a year ago. You pull out your PHONE = [8] and begin to PESTER MESSAGE = [21%13=8] your buddies for help with your specibus.
(You generally get another card every birthday, making your sylladex more and more unwieldy each time. But you're getting used to thirteen cards, so it's not so bad.)

-- draconicAnthropologist [DA] started jestering myraidIcthyologist [MI] at 5:31 PM --

DA: hey!
DA: i presume you know stuff about strife right?
MI: Sup?
MI: Yes.
MI: In fact I just allocated my specibus
DA: well isn't that a funny coincidence?
DA: :0
DA: i could use some protips and pointers on getting started and whatnot
MI: Okay, so, what do you have around the house that could be used as a sort of makeshift weapon?
DA: lots of stuff, let's see how creative I can get
DA: i have some pencils, a plastic bat, maybe some knives if i wanted to be a knifey guy
MI: Hm
MI: Anything else?
DA: i think i've got a ninja star somewhere, lots of toys and a wiimote
DA: i heard those were dangerous
MI: You should probably go with a toy for now, but something that could be used offensively
DA: i prolly have lots of toy swords and guns, also some other coolish stuff
MI: Toy sword sounds logical
DA: true
MI: I did a toy compound bow.
DA: sweet :0!
DA: i could probably use a nerf pistol
DA: i'm actually pretty good with those
MI: Okay.
MI: That works.
DA: i'll go ahead and allocate that then!
MI: Okay look in the back of the card
MI: And find Pistolkind.
DA: here it is
MI: Okay.
MI: Just select that one.
DA: okay!
DA: i think I got it?
MI: Alright.
MI: Well good luck I really have to go.

-- myraidIcthyologist [MI] stopped jestering draconicAnthropologist [DA] at 5:39 PM --

[grammaticalMisinterpreter]

-- humorousEntertainer [HE] started pestering draconicAnthropologist [DA] at 5:40 PM --

HE: Hey man
DA: what's up?
HE: Got Mil- I mean Specibus?
DA: just managed to allocate my specibus yep!
DA: you too?
HE: Sweet bro (and hella jeff)
DA: hahahahaha
HE: what you allocate bro
DA: pistolkind!
HE: Crazy poppa cap in da ass
DA: i had this old nerf pistol lying around.
HE: uhuh
DA: so yeah i am going to pop a cap
DA: in your burro.
HE: crazy smurf dude
DA:
HE: anyways i just picked up this CRAZY AXE
HE: as in musical...axe
DA: oh!
HE: y'know
DA: now you need to tie an ACTUAL AXE to it
DA: that would be.....
DA: EXTREEEM
HE: TOO COOL
HE: yeahhhh
DA: WHOAAAA
DA: yessss
HE: i dunno maybe I'll allocate that
DA: well okay dude
HE: you know jam on the HEADS of my enemies
DA: that would be pretty sweet
HE: with lasers
DA: you can kill them with song
HE: is it possible to allocate two things?
DA: and then hit them with a guitar if that doesn't work
HE: i mean i know the whole single thing but 2?
DA: you mean if you have two things that fit a kind?
HE: know like I dunno bro
HE: like a gun?
HE: or some shiz
DA: if you had two guns?
HE: well
HE: like i do but
HE: shit man
HE: axe or like RATTA TATTA GUN
DA: tough decision!
DA: :0
HE: DUDE
HE: BRO
HE: HOLD THE PHONES
HE: WE HAVE A WINNER
HE: READY FOR DIS
HE: DRUM ROLL
DA: lets hear it!
HE: CROWBAR
DA: :0
DA: DUUUUDE
HE: I CAN LIKE BREAK THE DOORS OF THEIR FACE!
HE: WITH LIKE METAL SHIT
DA: GORDON FREEMAN STYLE
HE: YEAHHHHHH
HE: SCREWING THE ZOMBINES IN THE FACE
HE: WITH A METAL FLANGELA
DA: 8D
HE: crazy
DA: very
HE: dude bro i cant talk now
HE: i mean fucking crowbar
HE: its like calling to me
DA: yes
HE: crazy
DA: go speak to it
HE: must answer its metal bend call
HE: our relationship must last
HE: we're gonna get married
HE: crow bar and ben
DA: go reunite with your beloved daughter
DA: i mean
DA: crowbar
HE: dude like the tire iron is the daughter dude
DA: totally duuude
HE: but you know
HE: part cool bro part tire iron
HE: shit
HE: I gotta get out of here
DA: would it be a tire iron but awesome and anthropomorphic
HE: Peace bro
DA: okay peace doooog
DA: !!

-- humorousEntertainer [HE] stopped pestering draconicAnthropologist [DA] at 5:56 PM --

You get up and make your way to the garage, after a couple minutes of rummaging you find a crow bar, you quickly allocate it, just in time too, you brother comes into the room with a sander, in seems that you interrupted him working on a project...

[grammaticalMisinterpreter]

you fucking brother sands your face, you quickly aggrieve with your crowbar and hit his leg, and quickly eject your GHOST GARBAGE and he is greeted by a world of hot GOO. while hes blinded to abscond and get back to "Knee scorcher".

[draconicAnthropologist]

You run back over to the room with your computer to grab the aforementioned NERF PISTOL.
You dig through a whole bunch of stuff and quickly retrieve said HANDGUN = [12], and subsequently ALLOCATE = [12] it to your strifedeck.
Cool!

[operaticSoprano]

You're doing pretty well with your embroidery so far. You begin to see the image you're making take its form, till you make another stitch, and the thread gets stuck.

Is that...

...a KNOT?

Ugh! Not one of those again! You attempt to untangle it, only to get even more knots in the thread. You finally just get frustrated and force the knotted thread through the cloth. Then you look at it, realize what a fabulous waste of cloth and thread you just made, and set it aside in disgust. You couldn't be more dissapointed in yourself. You've just been in an embroidering rut lately! It's like that time when you knit scarves so much that your scarves began to morph into a sad waste of perfectly good yarn. Or that time when you crocheted doilies so much that they became little yarn blobs. Anything with needles has always dissapointed you in the end. But you just keep on pushing forward! Because that's the type of person you are, the type that keeps going when everything seems hopeless, the type that gets up when life has knocked you down...

Oh my gosh. Keep your mind on one subject for once!

You decide that you should probably greet Zach a happy birthday now, before you forget and get distracted.

-- operaticSoprano [OS] started pestering draconicAnthropologist [DA] at 6:01 PM --

OS: Hi! Um...sorry if you're busy or anything, but I just wanted to drop by and say happy birthday! :)
DA: hello!!
DA: all you guys are on today
DA: :D
OS: Yeah, I noticed! :D
OS: Usually everyone's off doing something
DA: :p
DA: they all decided to wish me a happy birthday and stuff!
DA: :D
OS: Well, of course! That's usually the proper thing to do and stuff.
DA: truue!
OS: So what are you guys all up to?
OS: If you are up to anything...
DA: i was going to ask you!
DA: we apparantly all decided to start messing with our specibi and sylladexes
DA: trout had to go for some reason though
DA: and ben's messing with a crowbar!
OS: Sounds fun! :D And I hope they're careful...
DA: apparantly they both sent me stuff too!
DA: yesh
OS: Awesome! :D
OS: Ohh, speaking of which, you might get my gift a little late...:s
DA: oh that should be fine?
OS: I'm always kind of late. Sorry. :S
DA: that's okay!
DA: :P
DA: i'll get the present late and itll be my birthday again!
OS: Hehehe! :P
DA: :D
OS: I guess that's one way of looking at it! :D
DA: yeah, I suppose!
DA: so!
DA: what are yoou doing?
DA: :0
OS: Um, well, I kind of killed an innocent piece of cloth with bad embroidery...:S
OS: And stabbed myself a couple of times
DA: noes!
OS: It's fine, it's not like my fingers are bleeding all over the keyboard right now or anything!
DA: that would be bad!
OS: And kind of messy...
DA: that too :0!
OS: Yeah, blood is kind of hard to clean up. I'm just glad that I didn't bleed over my cloth or anything!
DA: yeah!
DA: :0
DA: ...
DA: sooo!
OS: One time I got a bloody nose and bled all over my white shirt...grandpa wasn't very happy with me
OS: And I need to stop talking about blood.
DA: yes!
DA: lol.
OS: So...are you guys having fun so far?
DA: well we haven't done much haha
DA: i was going to try and sneak past my dad to the mail so I can get at some of those presents
DA: or something silly like that.
OS: Oh, good luck with that! :) :P
OS: Speaking of dads, I hope that my grandpa doesn't realize that I only just got up 20 or so minutes ago :S
DA: :0
DA: act very awake
OS: I'll try...
OS: Either way, I just end up getting confused whenever he starts yelling broken english at me
OS: So I'm not sure if he sees any difference...
DA: BROKEN ENGLISH!
DA: like that?
OS: Hahaha!
OS: If it was like that, I might actually be able to understand him better. :P
DA: lol
OS: It's more like, "Jill-yan! You sleep too late! Miss eating! Miss piano! Ay bako!" and stuff
OS: I don't even really know...
DA: that does sound pretty confusing.
DA: you need a secret box or something
DA: to hide from broken english in
OS: Hahaha, that'd be nice!
DA: :D
DA: maybe I should go grab those packages soon
DA: in case they dissappear or something ridiculous like that!
OS: Well, good luck with that! :D
DA: :P
OS: I'll just be sitting here...in my safety box :P
DA: woo safety box!
OS: Until my grandpa opens the door and starts yelling something about food or whatever. :P
OS: But, yeah, for now, a safety box!
DA: lol
DA: good luck!
OS: You too!

-- operaticSoprano [OS] stopped pestering draconicAnthropologist [DA] at 6:23 PM --

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